Hugh McIntosh, B.A., LL.B., ADTP’s Post

"God's work is perfect and yours is not"...is the phrase I try to remember when I am working with challenging clients. It comes from tailor Leonard Logsdail in the documentary linked below and I found it in the latest feed from Derek Guy who runs the @dieworkwear account on Twitter. For me, it means: 👔 Whatever life experience that a client brings into the room, it's not my place to improve on God's work. 👔 They are a beautiful sum of the life they have lived and the experiences they have had, no matter the trauma they are struggling with. 👔 My job is to help them see their strengths, build their self respect and love themselves in every little moment of their day. My question to you is, how do you approach challenging clients? ------------------------------------------------------- I learned the hard way about divorce and separation, so you don't have to. #divorce #lawyer #coaching #mediation https://lnkd.in/gVpcmkHt

The risks of not turning dangerous divorces into criminal law cases By not criminalizing Coercive Control women in dangerous marriages / partnerships are either experiencing a slow emotional and psychological death or they get killed Divorcing a coercive controller is still tremendously dangerous for women and children, because the psychopathology of the perpetrator husband is not looked at in ordinary divorce trials. It takes criminal law trials to investigate about people's past, call ex-partners and prostitutes (paid sex partners) to the stand. Sexual behavior and how men talk to women (talk down to them/boss them around) reveals crucial things about them. The lack of hard evidence in divorce cases and the disinterest as well as impossibility of creating such puts children at risk. We know that for the coercive control perpetrator a cohort of them score very high in antisocial disorders - which is alarming but doesn't mean that they are disordered. However, they have low ratings for empathy and compassion. When it comes to the requirement of having been in conflict with law or rules in general in childhood or from a very early age on (to be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder), an ordinary divorce with custody matters will not investigate in a coercive controller's past. As for that a father with antisocial personality disorder will continue to be exposed to children as pro contact supports this.

I binge watched this last night. Everyone working with or who knows a victim of coercive control and domestic violence needs to watch the targeting, lies, manipulation, psychological and emotional abuse, the sexual coercion, obsessive control and ownership, the physical and financial attacks and purposeful literal undoing of a functioning, intelligent woman. David Wenham captured the smarm, deception, sadism and charm of the abuser who mines any vulnerabilities and uses them to take control of the victim’s mind, body and soul. The seduction, the love bombing, the speed of the relationship’s intensity, the initial - this guy is weird gut instinct- all very familiar to me. These men are smart or perhaps cunning is a better word. They know what they’re doing to us. Trump is predating on an entire country. I think what is utterly horrifying is just how many deceptive, abusive men there are out there. I keep hearing 1 in 4 but it feels to me the statistics are much higher. There are scenes in this series that replicate exactly how I felt and demonstrate the mental noise and confusion of PTSD whilst our bodies and minds and nervous systems are set alight with abuse. I was trapped by a pathological lying abuser for 30 years. I put off having children with my abuser as my gut knew what my heart did not want to know; that this man didn’t love me, could not love, would never change, was dangerous. The most compelling line in this series tells us “if a man you’ve met online tells you his ex was crazy - run!” I was told my ex’s last partner was a crazy, gold digging, liar. I felt sorry for him. Sympathy was his hook. There’s very little accountability for these personality types because these kinds of users and abusers love positions of power over vulnerable people and make a beeline for the justice system and politics. Once you know, you know. It can takes many years to get out of these kinds of traps. Usually after leaving, the abuse gets worse and far too many women are murdered by these kinds of men as revenge. It’s helpful to understand the nuanced abuse for each victim but see the same patterns in David Wenham’s tactics. Our justice system was created by men, for men. It’s so far out of step with modern society that it’s ludicrous what men like this get away with. The answers don’t lie in a system filled with perpetrator personalities that is adversarial, all about profit and was built on the protection of perpetrators. We need a cataclysmic shift in society, in government, in the justice system that is inquisitorial, fact finding and focuses on protecting women, children and men from these predatory personalities whom are most often male. We need strict consequences for perjury and lying in court rather than accepting this as the norm. We need our courts to do what’s right rather than be a high school debating match won by the best curated arguments. No one should have to buy their safety. This is extortion. #CoerciveControl

This is a really good series to watch. Especially for the women who criticise and judge other women who get tricked or hoodwinked or conned or manipulated or entrapped in a coercive and dangerous situation. Can happen to any of us. Understand that this is calculated entrapment and psychological terrorism. #genderbasedviolence #entrapment #psychologicalterrorism #coercivecontrol

With 1 Word, Melinda French Gates Taught a Lesson For Every Leader After Her Divorce and Departure from the Gates Foundation In a letter to her former colleagues, French Gates expresses her gratitude. Read more here: https://lnkd.in/dR6PYiyC . . Like 💝 Comment below ⏬ Share ✅ For More Such Updates Follow Us @qnewshub @qnewscrunch . . #qnewshub #qnewscrunch #StartupFunding

Honored to be in discussion about this popular movie

What are the legal issues facing Love Island's most successful couple, Molly-Mae Hague and Tommy Fury, now that the former King and Queen of UK reality television have broken up? Georgia Oliver investigates..... #separation #cohabitation #coparenting #couples #familylaw #LoveIsland #reality #realityshow #realitytv #breakup #split

Read my latest article on what I would do if Molly-Mae Hague and Tommy Fury came in to Dutton Gregory Solicitors looking for legal advice regarding their recent break! #LoveIsland #familylaw #seperation #cohabitation #coparenting #realityshow #mollymae #tommyfury

Distinguishing between a soldier's wife & his mother and broadcasting it world wide is one of the worst things the media has done recently. Don't base your news on public engagement, whether it's a Pakistani woman crossing the border, immoral behaviors on a TV house or a fight between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Sensationalizing trivial matters spreads useless information. Many media personnel with a mic in hand don't take their power seriously and use it for cheap entertainment. Their motto seems to be "whatever sells." Family disputes are not uncommon, dating back to Raja Ram’s era, but this doesn't negate the many examples of exemplary love and relationships in the same society. It’s upto you which narrative you choose to spread & how would it add to your legacy & to that of society. When you have a platform, be responsible, especially with matters related to national security and integrity. As a storyteller, I encounter many narratives. I could choose negative ones for their popularity, I know controversy sells more but I focus on positive stories. The world is already full of negativity—why add to it?

Check out this #review of the #shortstory collection, #BloodPuddingandOtherHorrificDelicacies! #bookreview #bookblog #authorblog #horror #darkcomedy