Inc. Magazine’s Post

Word of the Day: Composure Composure is the state of being calm and in control of our emotions, especially in difficult or stressful situations. It involves maintaining mental and emotional balance, not letting anger, fear, or frustration dictate our response. People who exhibit composure are often able to keep their emotions in check, think clearly, and respond to situations in a measured and thoughtful manner, even when under pressure. Maintaining composure when someone snaps at us for no apparent reason can be challenging, but operating from a place of empathy makes it possible to navigate the situation with grace. When someone directs negativity toward us, it is natural to feel defensive or hurt. However, taking a step back and recognizing that the other person's outburst may not be a reflection of our actions or our worth, can help shift our perspective. By empathizing with them, we can remind ourself that their frustration might stem from stress, personal struggles, or external pressures beyond our knowledge. This shift in understanding allows us to respond with patience instead of reacting impulsively. We avoid internalizing their words, which is key to preserving our own emotional well-being. In these moments, deep breathing and self-awareness are crucial tools for maintaining composure. A pause before responding can help us process our emotions and give us the space to think. By remaining calm, we convey a sense of control and emotional maturity, which may help de-escalate the situation. From an empathetic stance, acknowledging the other person's emotions without taking the negativity personally is key. A simple response like, "It seems like you are upset. Is everything okay?" can show that we are more interested in understanding than reacting, fostering a more constructive dialogue. Maintaining composure also strengthens our own emotional resilience. Each time we handle a negative situation calmly and empathetically, we reinforce our ability to stay grounded in challenging interactions. This approach not only defuses tension but can also lead to a deeper understanding of the person we are dealing with, which may prevent future conflicts. In the long run, being able to meet negativity with composure creates a healthier and more respectful way of handling interpersonal challenges. However, it is key to remember that it is important to protect our boundaries. Composure does not mean we have to tolerate abusive behavior. Sometimes, the best way to maintain our composure is to firmly but calmly set limits, such as saying, "I am not going to engage in this kind of conversation." And although we aim to operate from a place of empathy, sometimes the most most empathetic thing we can do for ourselves is to disengage from the interaction, preserving our own peace.

Hands up who agrees? ✋ I hear this on a weekly basis from my frontline clients. We are trained to work ourselves to the bone, do more, do more, do more. But when we crash and burn- there is a feeling of being pushed aside and forgotten about 'until you are useful to us again'. The family feeling we all experience then somehow ceases to exist. We are cast out of the pack and our sense of belonging, feeling valued, cared for and supported is diminished. This is crushing for someone who devotes themselves tirelessly to the job. Isolation sets in. Questioning your worth takes place. Questioning the job pervades. Loneliness. Confusion. Anger. Well-being needs to be equal to productivity. You can't pour from an empty cup.

Emotional Intelligence at Work Now, this is something we have all heard before. There are probably hundreds or thousands of workshops out there on this topic and that is because it is a very important aspect of human life. Here are some useful tips that I believe are easier to put into action: 1. Avoid drama: There is one thing I don't like and that is drama. Arguments at work create drama and that is the last thing you need. Productivity would be low, you would be stressed, and that drama probably would not end there. It would likely continue for some days or weeks. That is not what you want for yourself. No matter what avoid drama at work. 2. Be calm: You have to be calm when there are situations that could cause you to be emotional. Say what is necessary (the facts of the situation) and be emotionally neutral. 3. Be Assertive: It's good to avoid situations that could lead to arguments and quarrels, but a time will eventually come when you will have to speak up. When that time comes be direct, stick to the facts, don't rush when you're speaking ,and be calm. 4. Let go of your pride: This is the most important tip and it is necessary for the first three tips to be sustainable in the long run. As a professional, you are part of a team (a group of individuals) and there is a role you would be playing to ensure the company or organization does well. In the grand scheme of things, some arguments or fights are not worth having. Have the mindset that you are there to play a role and be proud of the work and effort you put in to ensure your company does well. Think of the big picture and don't just think of what happens in the present moment. Thinking this way would not only help you to navigate your way in the corporate world, but it would also help in other areas life. There would be times you would have to speak up for yourself and when it comes be assertive and calm. However, for the most part, let go of your pride and think of the big picture.

How to Deal with Being Thrown Under the Bus or Bullied at Work: As an empath, someone who values kindness and respect, it can be incredibly challenging to face a bully or deal with someone who keeps throwing you under the bus at work. The workplace isn't just where you go to do your job—it's where your livelihood, dreams, and the legacy you're building depend on. When that environment is violated by someone who sees nothing wrong with their actions, it can break you, damage your confidence, and deeply affect your mental well-being. Here are a few ways that might help, although every situation is unique, and we all handle these challenges differently based on our personalities: * Stand Firm and Speak Up: If someone is undermining you, consider sending them an email expressing how their behavior is affecting not just your work but also your mental well-being. You don’t need to be fearless to do this—speak through your fear, your doubts, and even your shaking voice. Let them know the impact of their actions. Remember, making them aware won’t always mean immediate change, but your job is to stay consistent in your message, with the hope that HR will step in when needed. * Understand Your Own Value: It’s not your job to understand why bullies act the way they do. Your responsibility is to understand yourself, prioritize your well-being, and stand your ground with grace and respect. Be patient with yourself and discern when to set boundaries and when to reiterate, “I don’t respond to that tone.” * Take Action, No Matter How Uncomfortable: Standing up for yourself might feel uncomfortable at first, but remember that bullies thrive on silence. When you assert your worth, you make them uncomfortable too. So, let both parties sit with that discomfort—because nothing changes if you stay silent. * Don’t Accept Quietly: Keeping quiet can sometimes be interpreted as acceptance. * You were not born to be walked over. You are here to shine, to be a light that cannot be dimmed by anyone’s actions. * Rise graciously, stand in your truth, and let it be known—you are of the light, and you will not be stepped on. All the best on your journey to finding your voice and standing up for yourself. #WorkplaceWellness #StandUpForYourself #KindnessAndStrength #MentalHealthAtWork #EmpathyInAction #WorkplaceBullying #EmployeeSupport #RiseAbove

As professionals, we all experience anger at work at some point. However, it's important to learn how to manage our emotions and avoid making hasty decisions. Here are three things to avoid when angry at work, as shared from personal experience: 1. Avoid reacting immediately. Take a moment to stabilize your emotions before making any decisions. Reacting too quickly can lead to incorrect decisions and even worsen the situation. 2. Avoid high-intensity tasks. When angry, you may make mistakes and find it difficult to think clearly. Instead, focus on routine tasks that don't require a lot of mental effort. 3. Avoid venting openly. Venting in front of people you're not close to can escalate the situation and cause more mental anguish. Instead, focus on yourself or speak to a trusted confidant. Remember, nothing is permanent. Use the situation as an opportunity to understand yourself better and avoid similar situations in the future.

The challenges of not celebrating oneself: 1. **Reduced self esteem :** Not acknowledging your achievements can make you feel less confident. 2. **Lack of motivation:** If you don't celebrate when you succeed, you might lose the motivation to work hard. 3. ** Stress:** Working all the time without taking a moment to celebrate can make you feel exhausted and stressed out. 4. **Impaired relationships:** Ignoring your successes may affect your relationships with others. 5. **Reduced job satisfaction :** For your job, not recognizing your accomplishments can make you less satisfied. 6. **Struggling with Mental Health:** Constantly being hard on yourself without celebrating can lead to feeling anxious .

The challenges of not celebrating oneself: 1. **Reduced self esteem :** Not acknowledging your achievements can make you feel less confident. 2. **Lack of motivation:** If you don't celebrate when you succeed, you might lose the motivation to work hard. 3. ** Stress:** Working all the time without taking a moment to celebrate can make you feel exhausted and stressed out. 4. **Impaired relationships:** Ignoring your successes may affect your relationships with others. 5. **Reduced job satisfaction :** For your job, not recognizing your accomplishments can make you less satisfied. 6. **Struggling with Mental Health:** Constantly being hard on yourself without celebrating can lead to feeling anxious .

🔍 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗽: 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗞𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿? I've been there, nodding along, smiling on cue, and always being 'Mr. Nice Guy' at work. But recently, I had an eye-opener of a chat with friends. Turns out, decades of niceness hadn't exactly put us on the fast track to success. Instead, we often felt like doormats which did not serve our well-being. Have you ever felt that way? 🗣️ As someone who speaks and trains about social and emotional intelligence in the workplace, our focus is always about communicating to connect, putting ourselves in the shoes of people, and making things easy for the other party. But when does being.. Considerate become a Con? Etiquette-driven become Inauthentic? NICE become a Negotiable? 💭 Let’s face it, being too nice isn't always that nice for us. So here are some signs that you may be crossing the line from being Professional into simply People-pleasing: 1️⃣ You’re always putting others over yourself – Yes this is a noble trait, but if you're always playing the martyr and putting your own needs on the back burner, you're going to end up burnt out and resentful. 2️⃣ You have a hard time setting boundaries, especially when you're a natural giver. But remember - setting boundaries is like flossing - a little uncomfortable at first, but ultimately good for your wellbeing. 3️⃣ You apologise and say ‘thank you’ excessively: I adopted this toxic humility habit during my flight attendant days, and might as well have worn a t-shirt that says 'I’m your Barbie girl’. 4️⃣ You avoid conflict at all costs – Most of us would rather preserve our energy and keep the calm. But avoiding it altogether in a conflict-necessary situation is almost like telling that person ‘Carry on with this sh💩tty behavior’. 🙅 Am I telling you to be a nasty narcissist and to spew out whatever is in your mind? Absolutely not. But I think it is always possible to get a balance. 🍹 Finding the sweet spot between being assertive and accommodating is like finding the perfect cocktail - it takes a little experimentation to get it just right. The key is to know your limits and make sure we don’t end up with etiquette-poisoning that kills us inside. So let's redefine professional kindness to include kindness to self. Because at the end of the day, it's not just about fitting in; it's about standing out in your values – respectfully. 🤝 Which of the points above resonate with you? P.S - And how has being too nice been a disadvantage for you? #Speaker #EmotionalResilience #SocialIntelligence #Burnout #WellBeing #EQMaven This is Cindy Tien, EQ Maven, CSP - Shamelessly sharing my B.S. so that you can boldly own up to yours.

You’re known for being someone who gets things done - and is always trying to do more. You’re the absolute master of multi-tasking, according to your friends, family and workmates. And secretly you constantly feel like there’s so much to do but never enough time. You, my friend, are a member of the Type A personality club. Welcome to the fatigue party - there’s a sofa with your name on it if you don’t start taking care of yourself. When I started looking into the reasons behind what may have caused my chronic fatigue, I discovered these characteristics and thought yes, it is now all starting to make a bit more sense. Work is so important and finding it difficult to switch off. If this is ringing a bell for you, you can discover more about this and other personality types in my latest blog post, where I also talk about what you can do to counteract these ingrained tendencies. https://lnkd.in/e4uitirz Understanding why you behave like you do, can be like putting the final piece of the jigsaw in place! 🙂

Are you tired of feeling like a doormat? 🌟 Learn to assert your needs confidently with these tips! 🔸 People-pleasing leads to burnout and unfulfilled relationships. 😨 Fear of conflict or rejection often prevents assertiveness. 🧘♂️ Regular self-checks help identify and communicate your needs. 📝 Prepare for difficult conversations by planning and practicing. ⏰ Choose the right time to express your thoughts and feelings. 🗣️ Use “I statements” to express yourself without blame. 💪 Assertiveness boosts self-respect and relationship satisfaction. 🔄 Practice assertiveness regularly to make it easier. #SelfCare #Assertiveness #HealthyRelationships 🔹 Emotional and spiritual nourishment is crucial for overall well-being. ⚖️ Balance generosity with self-care to prevent resentment. 💬 Assertiveness is different from aggression and respects both parties. 🏆 Overcoming fears can lead to more fulfilling relationships. 📈 Clear communication increases the chances of getting your needs met. 👂 Listening actively helps understand the other person’s perspective. 🌟 Being authentic in relationships creates balance and satisfaction. 🔁 Regular practice of assertive communication makes it second nature. Stop Being a Doormat: How to Assert Your Needs Confidently https://lnkd.in/gyHEM4id