Rachael Ajetomobi, M.S., PhD’s Post

Prioritize your peace over someone else’s. My client said “I don’t want to be the angry Black woman.” So, she bottles up her thoughts, opinions, and feelings. She’s hoping it keeps the peace and improves her chances for promotion. And she is not alone! Emotional Expression is an emotional intelligence competency that enables us to constructively express our emotions. Generally speaking, Black women trend lower in this competency… History has taught it’s better to say nothing. Some of our cultural practices reinforce this same message (i.e. a child should be seen not heard) So, we’ve embraced it as truth. Perhaps speaking up does put you at a greater risk to be scrutinized, but Staying quiet puts you at risk of depression, anxiety, heart disease, high blood pressure, sleep deprivation, and so on… You stay quiet at work and come home and yell at the kids… I’ve been there so I am not throwing stones. By calling it out, I’m trying to help you avoid these pitfalls. Ask yourself, what needs to be true for me to be able to fully express myself. Then, prioritize making it happen. Let’s talk about it in the comments…. #executivecoach #leadershipdevelopment #personaldevelopment #womenempowerment

I’ve never been able to be silent about injustice. Not today and not ever. If you follow me, you know that I’m deeply committed to liberation (which I’ve learned and I’m still learning and practicing from predominantly Black and brown guides and teachers). I believe in centering those most impacted by marginalization and oppression. Because none of us are free unless all of us are free. So if your voice is being silenced and stifled, remember how powerful you are. Your voice is a force to be reckoned with (even if you’re soft-spoken). I reject that you need to be a “better” communicator. Instead, leverage your innate ability to express yourself. In this moment, we need to hear your voice more than ever. It’s never been more important. We all need to amplify and uplift voices not being heard. Your voice is a vehicle for liberation. And if you ever forget how powerful and necessary your voice is, follow me for tips to unlock your voice from perfectionism and toxic workplaces

This post serves as a reminder to trust yourself and the path that you're on. As a Bi-racial Black woman I interactive with 'imposture syndrome' daily. There are moments when I find myself questioning my place in spaces that highlight my 'difference.' In the past, I carried shame about standing out in certain 'systems,' all while recognizing the inherent oppression faced by those who diverge from the norm. However, my self-awareness extends beyond these challenges. I recognize and celebrate my unique skill set, strengths, and positionality. Frankly, I am impressed by the fusion of my creative abilities with my political and advocacy background. This combination has not only led to the development of valuable resources but also played a role in effecting meaningful changes within systems. I have come to terms with the fact that I am destined to be 'different' within these systems. This realization has not only liberated me from the weight of shame but has also opened doors to new hobbies, deeper connections, and a myriad of developmental opportunities. Actual #EDI in the workplace is putting #realitypedagogy into practice. Create a space that welcomes people to be authentic without judgment. Simultaneously, grant yourself the freedom to be true to who you are, even if faced with criticism. Embrace your genuine self and cultivate belief in your own identity. The key lesson here is to trust yourself. Invest wholeheartedly in your interests and passions. Acknowledge that your unique journey has brought you to where you are for a reason. Embrace your individuality, for it is a catalyst for growth and a source of endless possibilities. #truthsharing #EDI #creativeindustries #systemsthinking #systemschange #impostersyndrome #motivation

People of color often experience their contributions being diminished or ignored in the workplace, only to be acknowledged when someone who does not look like you, says the same thing. It's not only about losing credit - it's a constant reminder that your voice is not given the same worth. These microaggressions severely impact mental health. The weight of being consistently overlooked, questioned, or invalidated adds up, resulting in frustration, isolation, and a decrease in self-esteem.   Whether by design or not, these actions create an environment that cultivates racial bias and erodes the well-being of marginalized individuals. Unless we take action to dismantle it, this cycle will continue to reinforce itself. To contribute to the solution, we must: 1. Acknowledge the existence of bias, both in obvious and subtle forms. 2. Give equal room for all voices in the conversation, particularly those that are frequently silenced. 3. Inspect the ways in which we might unconsciously contribute to discriminatory behavior. 4. Support acknowledging contributions from everyone, regardless of their background. At the end of the day, it is crucial to respect and value every individual. Removing these harmful patterns is not only about equity but also about building healthier, more inclusive work environments where everyone can flourish.   Your black peer is going through this today and they are struggling to navigate their identify and self-worth. Do you do this or contribute to this, or do you work to end it? The harm you cause goes beyond cursory impact – #beaware #bebetter #belessracist #racismatwork #deniedexistence

Learn about important Black pioneers in psychology and some of their meaningful contributions to the field. Returning guest, Dr. Rihana Mason, unpacks notable leaders, power couples, HBCUs, and more. Tune in to #PsychEverywhere’s latest episode “A History of Black Psychologists” here, link in bio: https://lnkd.in/g2WxjSdH #BlackHistory #Psychology #PsiChi #PsiChiPodcast 

Happy Black History Month. I work in mental health and am always curious about the history and future of my trade. A mentor had me read an article, "Toward a Black Psychology," by Dr. Joseph White. Dr. White is known as the Godfather of Black Psychology. This essay ran in Ebony magazine in 1970. One passage, at the article's conclusion, will stay with me always: "One of the primary reasons why interracial group sensitivity encounters often fail to make adequate progress may be due to the fact that black people and white people have different priorities, expectations, ways of viewing the world and life styles. When black people confront white people, what they primarily want is a legitimate acknowledgement of their point of view and a follow-up with appropriate actions. But when a white person is pushed up against a wall, the worse thing he can do is admit that the party who pushed him up there has a valid point of view. In a group encounter when black people escalate the verbal fire- works the white reaction is to feel angry, threatened, alienated, or guilty. Were whites to drop their defensiveness and acknowledge the legitimacy of the black point of view, they might be able to move from there to a more cooperative relationship." That last part. That is literally all I try to do as an anti-racist. There is a lot more to it, but I built my foundation several years by deciding to acknowledge the legitimacy of the Black point of view. Because I'd spent nearly 4 decades *not* doing that, and because it can never, never be the other way around--I cannot ask or expect Black folks to acknowledge my point of view on racism (the one I grew up with), because there are years and years of history where that was the *only* point of view people like me could acknowledge, and because we forced it on everyone else. Reconciliation begins with the abuser; the abused have no duty to do anything except work towards their own safety. I may wish this were not so, but it is so, and I only get one reality to exist in. If I want to create anything with Black people, or any BIPOC people, it has to start with me shutting down my defenses, putting aside what I thought I knew, and rebuking the way I was raised. It can't and couldn't start with me asking the people I hurt to meet me halfway, compromise with me, or sit and listen to my take on white supremacy. Because, up until the day I decided to change, I *was* white supremacy. I was its agent, one of many, and my not knowing that does not erase harm. Guilt and shame, though, have no place in my life. I have not met any antiracist thinker or activist who wants to punish me. And if I center my work around "I'm so ashamed of my race" then I categorically cannot center it around love or service. This is bone-level simple. The difference between punishment and accountability should be clear to anyone.

Capacity awareness is a burnout prevention skill. Let me share a recent lapse in awareness. Last night… I fell asleep with a full face of make up. I fell asleep without wearing my bonnet. I fell asleep w/o my retainer = migraines. I missed an internal deadline for a project. I missed the Fever vs Sparks WNBA game. I missed a fraternity and sorority gathering. Btw, I got a last minute ticket to the game! 😫 As an ambivert, I skipped my recharge times for the past few days because all of the excitement. I’m attending a summit full of Black excellence. What I didn’t miss was my body protecting me. Think about why you may ignore your capacity. Is it worth it in the long run. As a former athlete, this was commended. As a professional, this becomes a complex issue. Habitual exhaustion can lead to habitual burnout. P.S. Are you an extrovert, ambivert or introvert?

The Role of Perfectionism for Black Women in Leadership What narrative does perfectionism craft about your worth? "...the pressure to embody strength can have severe psychological repercussions. The stress, anxiety, and depression stemming from this expectation can lead to serious mental health issues, including suicidal ideation. Studies indicate that Black women are at a higher risk of post-traumatic stress disorder than their White counterparts, and systemic racism exacerbates risks for chronic conditions like hypertension and diabetes (Castelin & White, 2022). Coping mechanisms such as emotional avoidance, self-silencing, and maladaptive performance can further compound these issues. We hear about these things, but do we really get it?" Wow! This piece by Dr Dara Winley Ph.D. resonated. I know I've been caught in the perfectionist trap many times and have done a lot of work to unlearn it. It's something that many of us have to contend with due to how we have been socialised and the expectations set from within our own communities. But freedom comes when we realise that we do not need to be perfect. We just need to BE. https://buff.ly/4cwPB7m __________________________________ Get in touch if you want to discuss how you can show up with your imperfections and still make an impact in your work.

Most people will overlook that we ought to be focusing on the GREY. Here's why: the world you live in will not always be easily defined as BLACK or WHITE. Just as it is in life, not everything is seen as black or white. When you understand that, then you can see grey is more than being in the middle. It's a mixture of the two colors that can lead to higher forms of awareness. By being able to both sides, we can from the YES or NO mindset -> to being in their shoes. We can act more empathetic towards ideas, feelings, and those around us. The grey focuses on being in the NOW versus past/present. It's what allows us to listen more actively -> instead of our own biases. The grey allows us to consider all possibilities and let in all forms of opportunities. So before you lean into the notion that everything needs to be black or white, remind yourself that grey is an option, too. 

Sometimes we think we're helping someone and we might actually hinder genuine understanding by imposing our own perspectives, assumptions, or solutions onto them, rather than allowing them the space to express themselves and be understood on their own terms. We often impose our perspectives on others with the intention of helping because it's natural to draw from our own experiences and beliefs. However, this tendency can stem from a desire to feel useful or in control of a situation rather than prioritizing the individual's autonomy and need for genuine understanding. Sometimes, it's also driven by a lack of awareness or empathy for the other person's perspective. Recognizing this tendency allows us to practice humility and actively listen, creating a space where others feel truly supported, heard, and understood. And have space to work things out for themselves Sometimes we think we're helping & we're really doing the work for them by: 📌Making Assumptions Instead of Asking: We make assumptions about what someone needs or wants without directly asking them, assuming that we knoW what's best for them without considering their autonomy or preferences. 📌Projecting our own experiences We assume that someone's feelings or experiences must be similar to ours, sO we project our own reactions onto them instead of acknowledging their unique perspective and emotions. 📌Over-analyzing Behavior: We read too much into someone's behavior or actions, trying to decipher hidden meanings or motivations without considering that their actions might be straightforward or unrelated to what we think. 📌 Ofering Unsolicited Advice When someone shares a problenm with us, instead of just listening, we jump in with solutions or advice without considering if they want it or if they're seeking validation, empathy or listening instead. 📌 Assuming Motives: We interpret someone's actions or words based on our own assumptions or biases without considering their perspective or asking them directly about their intentions. ~ The Black Female Therapist What did I miss? Keep unveiling your uniqueness because it is within you that BLISS is found. I love you ❤️ #stellaeyabi #mentalhealth