Level- 2 Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapist | Polyvagal theory informed| Somatic Practitioner| RECBT Trained (Albert Ellis Institute, USA)
I can understand!!! Can this sentence trigger your clients? Let's understand Navigating Empathy in therapy sessions. As therapists, our primary goal is to support and empower our clients through their healing journeys. Yet, in our efforts to express empathy and understanding, we must tread carefully to avoid inadvertently causing harm. Recently, I had a profound realization during one of my Self- Parts work sessions where I was trying to hold space for a part of me in pain. In my efforts to offer empathy and compassion by saying" i understand what you're feeling", it led to triggering a wave of frustration and anger within it, resulting in lashing out and saying "No! you can never understand what I am feeling. No one can ever understand the amount of pain I am feeling". This experience made me realise how we can unintentionally end up doing this with our clients and gave me this insight that while our intentions may be pure but not recognizing that each individual's emotions and experiences are deeply personal and subjective and the intensity of their feelings can vary differently too, can sometimes lead to feelings of invalidation or minimization of clients' experiences. . I feel creating a safe and supportive therapeutic space requires more than just offering empathy; it also involves a profound understanding of the intricacies of human emotions. It's a delicate balance, being attuned to each client's unique needs and responses is crucial in fostering a trusting theurepetic relationship. Do you think by listening deeply, without assuming easy understanding, and holding space for the profound complexity of our clients' experiences can lead to corrective experiences in sessions? #healingjourney #therapy
Personally, I do find it very frustrating when I am told "Yes I understand it can feel x way". I can't very exactly find the words to describe why. But it doesn't feel at all like a conversation rather an assessment and also feels insincere, "they are saying it cause they are supposed to".
I think this is very important. Sometimes clients bring experiences we truly cannot understand, and it is only authentic to express that.
Insightful
Thanks a lot for sharing this post!
Decoding the human mind, one thought and one emotion at a time
8moI usually use statements like "I can't even imagine what it might have been for you" and follow it up with a statement like "If I try to put myself in your shoes, I probably would have felt ____ (insert emotion/physical sensation), does that resonate with you?", before encouraging them to elaborate upon their experience. If the client shares something that I have personally experienced, I use self disclosure wherever required, or else if it is a pattern that I have observed in other clients, I portray it in a generic manner using statements like "people who experience ____, often display ____; does that sound relatable?"