THE DANGERS OF LEARNED HELPLESSNESS! I recently had a lesson in how easy it is to take on a belief in my own inability. About a month and a half ago, I broke my foot competing in a martial arts tournament. (Despite that, I completed my match and won a silver medal, with a foot broken in two places.) Because of that, I had to wear an orthopedic boot for six weeks and could not go to kung fu practice. It was awkward walking around with that thing on, throwing off my balance and making walking tiring. It did not, however, keep me from any exercise. There were many forms of exercise that it didn’t interfere with at all. Despite that, when my doctor finally told me my foot was healed and the boot was off forever, I looked back and realized that I hadn’t exercised at all for six weeks, not even the things I could have done. Why not? I spent some time thinking about it, and I realized that this injury, and the boot, had changed my view of myself. For that span of time, I did not see myself as athletic and capable, but injured and limited. Looking back, it was amazing to realize how fast, and how easy, that change in self-perception had occurred. This was a great lesson for me. I see now how easy it was to put myself into a limited category, and I realize that I need to be ever more vigilant to resist that kind of process. We all are subjected to things happening to our physical selves from time to time—illness, injuries, things of that nature. When that happens, we have to be very careful not to allow a temporary or partial disability to overwhelm our sense of ourselves, like I did. Focus on what you still can do, not what you can’t, and take action to do those things. Watch out for the trap of learned helplessness. You’ll get plenty of support from society for falling into the trap, so you have to work hard to protect yourself from it. And remember to always tell yourself— “I’m Never Done Growing!” --Doug Sohn #success #successmindset #successaftersixty
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Struggling with depression? Martial arts might be the boost you need. Here’s how.
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Be specific to the point of exhaustion. Yesterday, I spoke about helping by not helping. But sometimes, they just don't get it. Take my mom, for example: She is approaching blindness, and everyday tasks are getting increasingly difficult for her. So, when asked about the whereabouts of her phone, the peas or just about anything, "right before your eyes" is as unhelpful as it gets – it needs to be "beyond your cup, past the bowl of nuts, somewhat to the left. The other left 😅." Blindness, though, does not only stem from genetics and old age: Sometimes, we are used to our ways. Sometimes, we are making untested #assumptions about the solution space. Sometimes, we are lacking experience or have a predisposition that makes us miss the point. Whatever it is: We could spend a lifetime trying and just won't get it. As my Sifu used to put it, discussing the virtue of experience in the martial arts: "And even if you studied for twenty years: If you tried it the wrong way, there is no miracle that will make you a master in year twenty one. That's where a good instructor comes in." Sometimes, you need to be specific to the point of exhaustion to truly help. And very, very patient. Happy Easter, everybody! #leadership #patience
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⚔️Helped 200+ Men Unlock Muscle Up & Handstand 🐺Using The ‘MAJOR’ Blueprint ⬇️DM ‘CALI’ to learn more⬇️
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The Law of Reversed Effort: In a Zen parable that I love, a martial arts student approaches his teacher and asks, "How long will it take me to master this craft?" The teacher replies, "10 years." The student, looking impatient, responds, "I want to master it faster than that. I will work harder than anyone else. I will push myself to practice for many hours every single day. I won't rest until I become a master. How long will it take then?" The teacher considers this new information, smiles, and answers, "20 years." This story brings to life a concept called the Law of Reversed Effort, coined by author Aldous Huxley: "The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed." It's easy to find examples from your own life where this concept rings true: When you press to try to complete a creative task, you become less creative. When you actively push to try to find the perfect partner, you rarely find that person. When you try to force yourself to fall asleep, you stare at the ceiling awake. Elite sprinters follow something called the 85% rule: They try to run at 85% intensity because it keeps them loose, fluid, and effortless. When they try to run at 100% intensity, their body tenses up and they slow down. The lesson here is simple: When you adopt a mindset of balanced effort, you achieve greater heights. Life is not about pushing to the max at all times—this is a recipe for burnout and bad results. Balance your effort, learn to breathe and flow in everything you do. If you find that headspace, you will always thrive.
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The Law of Reversed Effort: In a Zen parable that I love, a martial arts student approaches his teacher and asks, "How long will it take me to master this craft?" The teacher replies, "10 years." The student, looking impatient, responds, "I want to master it faster than that. I will work harder than anyone else. I will push myself to practice for many hours every single day. I won't rest until I become a master. How long will it take then?" The teacher considers this new information, smiles, and answers, "20 years." This story brings to life a concept called the Law of Reversed Effort, coined by author Aldous Huxley: "The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed." It's easy to find examples from your own life where this concept rings true: When you press to try to complete a creative task, you become less creative. When you actively push to try to find the perfect partner, you rarely find that person. When you try to force yourself to fall asleep, you stare at the ceiling awake. Elite sprinters follow something called the 85% rule: They try to run at 85% intensity because it keeps them loose, fluid, and effortless. When they try to run at 100% intensity, their body tenses up and they slow down. The lesson here is simple: When you adopt a mindset of balanced effort, you achieve greater heights. Life is not about pushing to the max at all times—this is a recipe for burnout and bad results. Balance your effort, learn to breathe and flow in everything you do. If you find that headspace, you will always thrive.
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The Law of Reversed Effort: In a Zen parable that I love, a martial arts student approaches his teacher and asks, "How long will it take me to master this craft?" The teacher replies, "10 years." The student, looking impatient, responds, "I want to master it faster than that. I will work harder than anyone else. I will push myself to practice for many hours every single day. I won't rest until I become a master. How long will it take then?" The teacher considers this new information, smiles, and answers, "20 years." This story brings to life a concept called the Law of Reversed Effort, coined by author Aldous Huxley: "The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed." It's easy to find examples from your own life where this concept rings true: When you press to try to complete a creative task, you become less creative. When you actively push to try to find the perfect partner, you rarely find that person. When you try to force yourself to fall asleep, you stare at the ceiling awake. Elite sprinters follow something called the 85% rule: They try to run at 85% intensity because it keeps them loose, fluid, and effortless. When they try to run at 100% intensity, their body tenses up and they slow down. The lesson here is simple: When you adopt a mindset of balanced effort, you achieve greater heights. Life is not about pushing to the max at all times—this is a recipe for burnout and bad results. Balance your effort, learn to breathe and flow in everything you do. If you find that headspace, you will always thrive.
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EXECUTIVE BJJ Imposter Syndrome. Imposter syndrome: some people believe that they can’t do something because they believe they don’t fit the stereotypical profile of what they want to be. It could be anything: it’s very easy to fall into the trap of believing in character tropes. The media is very good at creating them and I for one believe the media is decades behind the times. Are martial arts people all fit, young, tough MMA style fighters? Of course not. You don’t have to be young and super fit to engage in Budo, but if you start training I can absolutely guarantee that with consistency you will improve your fitness level! Ageism. Something I detest but prevalent in all walks of life including martial arts. In some quarters old people training are frowned upon like they’re embarrassing or not worth the effort. We should celebrate and encourage older people to train. Treat them with respect, show patience and appreciate the time and energy and enthusiasm they bring. They’re POSITIVE. Remember the advantage older folks have over younger humans is that they have lived their years and have a wealth of life experience that goes far beyond the narrow confines of the dojo. Young people on the other hand have no guarantee they will live as long! (Melodramatic warning alert!) Media portrays grandparents as doddering old geriatrics ready to pop off, deaf and half blind. The old individuals I see training are fit, healthy, sharp- minded, happy and active: myself included! One of my students, on telling him my age, was shocked, saying he thought I was in my forties. I replied that if he uses my ideas on training, stretching, diet and being happy he’ll stay young forever like Mick Jagger. A few tricks here and there and a lust for life (Iggy Pop). Well that’s all for this article, I hope you’ve enjoyed the read, and remember, don’t take your health for granted and expect health professionals to do all the hard work. Take responsibility for yourself and look after yourself. If you’re interested in starting my Executive BJJ programme please get in touch. Pax vobiscum, Dante. #oldisgold #healthiswealth #selfbelief #innerconfidence #dontbelievethehype #notimelikethepresent #slowandsteady #lifeisthecompetition
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Baby Boomer thought leader- Author of "In Search of the Baby Boomer Generation," - Part of the leadership team at Today's Senior Magazine-- Co Founder of BabyBoomer.org
3moWe at Today's Senior Magazine encourage our #babyboomer and #senior audience--to read--the latest column-- from Doug Sohn - CEO--of Success After Sixty - Rick Bava - Today's Senior Magazine - www.todayssr.com