➡ DEAR TAMZIN ⬅
❓ QUESTION ❓
I keep hearing the phrase, “You’re not broken, you’re different,” but I can’t help feeling broken, ashamed, and lost.
I’m struggling at work and making mistakes, and my manager keeps pointing them out, which only makes me feel worse. I just want to do my job well. When my manager asks if I’m OK, I don’t even know how to respond because I don’t know how I’m feeling.
How can I explain what I’m going through when I can’t make sense of it myself?
▶ ANSWER ◀
First, I want to acknowledge how tough this situation is for you.
It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to express what you’re experiencing, especially when you’re under pressure at work.
Remember, it’s OK to feel lost - these feelings don’t mean you’re broken; they mean you’re human.
Here are some practical steps that can help you start making sense of how you’re feeling and communicate with your manager more effectively:
➡️ Start by naming your feelings.
When emotions feel confusing, try to identify even small aspects of what you’re experiencing. For example, you might not know exactly why you feel upset, but you could say, “I feel frustrated” or “I’m feeling overwhelmed.” Starting with a few simple words to describe your emotions can be the first step toward clarity. You don’t need to have everything figured out; just naming what you do feel can be powerful.
➡️ Set small, achievable goals.
When you’re making mistakes at work, it can feel like nothing is going right. Instead of focusing on trying to fix everything at once, pick one or two tasks to prioritize each day. Small wins can help rebuild your confidence and show your manager that you’re making progress, even if it’s just one step at a time.
➡️ Use “I” statements when talking to your manager.
If your manager asks if you’re okay, try using “I” statements to describe your current state, even if it feels vague. For example, you could say, “I’m finding some tasks challenging right now and it’s making me feel a bit overwhelmed, but I’m working on finding a way through.” This approach is honest without needing to have all the answers and lets your manager know that you’re aware of the situation.
➡️ Consider neurodiversity coaching .
Sometimes, navigating these challenges requires support from someone who understands neurodiversity. Neurodiversity coaching can help you explore your unique strengths and challenges, find tailored strategies, and develop the confidence to communicate your needs effectively at work.
This type of coaching may even be covered by your employer, as many companies offer funding for professional development and well-being.
You don’t have to go through this alone, and support is available. Feel free to reach out if you’d like to explore neurodiversity coaching or if you have more questions. You’re not broken - you’re just facing challenges that need different strategies. Together, we will find a way forward that works for you.
Speak soon,
Tamzin
Activating Potential: Peak-Performance Specialist for Executives & Leadership Teams | Mentoring Experts to Win Corporate Clients |Future of Work & Human/AI adoption | Former CFO & Big-4 Consultant | #RehumanizeWork
10moOh absolutely, practicing gratitude in my daily life has been a game-changer! 💖