Stop saying you're fine when someone asks 'how are you?'
Let me put you on.
You already know that I'm a big fan of speaking up, right? And based on my work as an Ombuds you probably think I mean speaking up about conflict.
I do for the most part, but there are other times when it's important to speak up.
Like when you have career goals. You gotta speak up about where you want to take your career. (Note: I say take, as in take action.)
But many of us heard messages that make it hard now 😪 to share our vision or talents, like:
😶 Don't toot your own horn.
😶 Don't brag. Do good work and someone will notice.
🤐 Don't throw away a good job. Be grateful.
So much to say about these messages. It breaks my heart to think of women who listened and obeyed. That was me early in my career. I believed that my career just happened ; it was outside of my control. Eventually, I learned otherwise.
For now, though, I want to give you a communication technique to share your accomplishments without making a big production out of it. Tell me in the comments if you think this is a humblebrag.
Stop saying you're fine and start sharing the goods! As in, what you've accomplished in the recent past.
Think about it. How many times a day are you asked how are you doing at the start of a call or meeting? Plenty. Each one is an opportunity to inform your colleagues or manager about the value you bring to your organization.
Next time, try this formula called EAR for responding to the question:
➡ Emotion + Action+ Results
Like this...
C: How are you?
I could say my usual: great and getting better. Or,I could say this:
Me: I'm super excited because I mentored someone in my Your Ombuddy program on how to talk to her boss about overwork & priorities. Her strategic conversation convinced her boss to delegate the extra work. Win- win, right!
What do you think created more interest and impact?
You can do the same. Yes, it will be a little awkward at first, and you'll probably forget a few times. Don't give up.
Here's two excellent reasons why!
✅ Promotions, new opportunities, referrals happen because someone knows you and knows your knowledge or expertise. You want to give people plenty of data to share about you so they know when you're a great fit.
Good for your career growth. Good for their wellbeing. Science suggests that helping others boost our mental health, less depression, more calm.
✅ Your self-esteem grows with each answer! When you consistently recognize what you're good at your confidence grows. You have a growth mindset. You're more likely to take on that stretch assignment.
You know that's right.
That's why Your Ombuddy was created. To talk through the old messaging and beliefs slowing you down and to give you the tools to build your desired future.
I'm curious. Drop your EAR response (emotion+action+result) in the comments. I'd love to read it!
#speakup #selfesteemboost #womenatwork