Being a Woman in 21st Century

I grew up in a family where my mother and most of my aunts were working professionals mostly employed within various Government departments in India. While a majority within the family, they were still a minority in the society. Most of the mothers of my friends were housewives. Over the years, that table seems to be turning around and we are seeing more first-generation female working professionals steering into workforce.

One of the blessings of my role, is the number of women I get to interact with to support in their professional journeys. And one thing that remains as a constant part of that dialogue is how a lot of them are trying to strike this balance between these two worlds – one that still lingers on traditional role of a women in the society as a caregiver and matriarch and one that allows her to define her own destiny. 

Why is it relevant? Because I think we are that generation that is caught in the middle of this great gender socialization shift. Caught in this constant conflict of confirming to stereotypes and breaking away from the same. It is almost like walking a tight rope balancing two different generations and trying to find a balance.

When a young woman walks into a workspace, she is excited and full of dreams on things she can achieve. Everyone around her is cheering for her and she finally has the financial independence and the respect in her circles. Somewhere along the line as her career starts to take importance, there is noise around her for settling down and looking for something easier that keeps you busy but not too busy! A lot of young women who speak to me talk about how the compromises are always their deal of the story – they need to relocate, they need to find ‘easier’ jobs, they need to get back by a certain time, and the list goes on. And typically, as they hit motherhood, the expectation is again on the women taking the break because you can always find another job after few years, but family comes first. And if at all the couple decides to not have children, the noise is around her being too career minded or ambitious coming in the way of having a child. 

While I see a lot of women stepping out of their shells, taking on these biases, and marching on strong towards their aspirations, we still need to make this a majority story. And therefore, we still need a Women’s Day to keep the dialogues, conversations, and fight on to keep the progress continuing and in full gear.

To all the women, who I don’t get to interact as often, here is my two cents:

1. Write down your aspiration, an exact, precise, tangible goal that you want to achieve for yourself. We all think we are ambitious in our head but try putting that thought to paper and it will be a self-commitment you will not ignore.
2. Socialize that dream. Don’t just hold it to yourself. Create your own champions who will dream that dream with you. And yes, there will be people who mock, smile at them, and move on.
3. We can do everything we want BUT we don’t have to. No human is perfect. We don’t have to do it all. Identify what is your non-negotiable and for the rest get help! Don’t shy away from asking for help and delegating things where you can get support.
4. Find a mentor – not a peer! Somebody who is more experienced than you, maybe a woman, could be a man too. Someone who will take the time to invest in you. Could be inside your profession or outside, within family or outside. Having one helps you navigate through and avoid some tough times.
5. Brand yourself – I cannot emphasize more on how important it is for women to talk about their wins. Let that self-doubt rest for a while, and if you are happy about something you did – SHARE! If nothing, there will always be another woman in the room who will take that inspiration for herself.

I think we are really living in a time and place where we can truly turn things around for our future generations. I don’t want my nieces and nephews to be told that they must be like this or that. They can choose for themselves without any guilt attached. Then only, we can grow into a more compassionate and inclusive world.

For any women out there, who needs a friend/guide/mentor, just reach out and I will try to do my best to support.