No More I Love You's

I was going to post today about a recent TCC case, however last night heard about a local father who had sadly taken his life. 

I did not know this guy personally, however I saw a friend post a tribute and as with any suicide, especially a fellow father I cannot help but feel the heartbreak 💔 and sadness of the loss.

May he rest in peace and his family find their own peace in time ♥️

If you have been following my own journey, struggles and then healing my own mental health, you will know that this is a huge part of who I am. I believe anyone who has been through the fires of hell 🔥 should carry buckets of water for those still there 🪣

We are all human and we are all connected. We are related to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, and to the Universe atomically 💙❤️✨🌈🙏🏽

A very personal share..

I wanted to share something I have only ever told my fiancee Laura. In sharing I hope that this might be read and help someone who is struggling today and please if it helps or you want to discuss it, feel free to contact me any time if you need someone to listen 🙏

When I was in a very dark place I used to listen to music and one song in particular still hits me in the feels. The song was a intensely powerful one for me, sung by Annie Lennox, a truly mesmerising voice and someone I have always admired as a women, a singer and a musician 🎶

The song is called “No More I Love You’s ” and for me I interpret it as someone (the singer) no longer loving the pain and darkness, the addiction and everything that goes with it 🥃😣

The lyrics that resonate the most for me were and still are even now (goosebumps)

"I used to have demons in my room at night Desire, despair, desire, so many monsters Oh, but now (I don't find myself bouncing around) (Whistling my conscience to make me cry)"

Those of us who have suffered childhood or adult trauma often (and I did) hide in addiction, be that alcohol or drugs or both. It blots out the excruciating pain, but is short-lived and that is why it's a cycle. Breaking it is not easy and anyone who is suffering needs help and support, not shaming 🤗

The demons that were in my room at night back then, were too scary for me to face 😈 and so I hid in addiction and shame, because I didn’t think I could open up. Even now writing this post I find myself welling up 😥

I had the desire to change, but fear led me to hide in a desire for alcohol and drugs, which led to despair and around we went 🥹❌

But now, having healed and wanting that for everyone who suffers, I share that now I no longer find myself bouncing around, wondering if I am right or wrong and crying. Now I am proud of the challenges I have overcome and if I can do it, then so can you ❤️💙🙏🏽

Suicide removes the opportunity to heal. It removes hope. Hope can change your life and so can speaking up. ❤️💙🙏🏽

Get in touch

If you feel suicidal I am a qualified mental health first aider and more than happy to listen to you, please just get in touch via messenger 📧

And please do listen to the song , it may work for you too 😊

#mentalhealth #care #suicideprevention #itsokaytonotbeokay