Have you played… Assassin's Creed: Origins?

If there's one thing you should know about my gaming habits it's that I unironically bloody love me some Assassin's Creed. That means the older sneaky-stabby AC and the more modern shouty-pillage fests like Assassin's Creed Valhalla. Assassin's Creed Origins is the awkward middle step between the two, acting as the series' first go at a proper RPG.

Origins' main protagonist is Bayek, a genuinely charming would-be assassin out to avenge the death of his son. Sad-dads are nothing new for games of course, but there's something about the way Bayek dreams of past nights spent teaching his son about the stars that gives the game an emotional weight not often found elsewhere in the series. These brief stargazing asides are scattered throughout Origins' modestly-sized map and when you complete one Bayek stands up, places a nearby pebble in his pocket, and then continues on his quest. It's these quiet moments that really make Origins stand out from its peers, especially its limelight-hogging successor Assassin's Creed Odyssey.

The sprawling deserts and crumbling pyramids are lovely to behold as you make your way across Egypt, but they all pale in comparison to 'Baya'. I'm referring to Bayek and his wife Aya, who may just be simultaneously the most wholesome and horny couple in all of video games. They're estranged since the death of their son, but in the fleeting encounters they have over the years they mostly want to kill templars and then screw until the sun comes up. It's a shame that Aya isn't a bigger part of the story here, as she's easily the best character you'll meet in Origins. Ubisoft's gonna Ubisoft, I guess.