From aggressively spicy brews to one that tastes like ‘dental goo’, Nicholas Jordan tries 17 ginger beers – and gets fizzy-cal

From a packet that would light up a boring work party to another that smells ‘like butter cultured in a jockstrap’, Nicholas Jordan grabs the popcorn – and is not entertained

In tasting 13 shelf-stable chocolate-chip biscuits, Nicholas Jordan learns that sometimes mediocrity can – and must – suffice

From a ‘salt-less wasteland’ to a boulevard of broken beans, Nicholas Jordan puts nine tins of baked beans to the test

From a surprisingly ‘fluffy’ product to another with ‘no dignity’, Nicholas Jordan and friends sample a range of crunchy spreads and get a lesson in value

In a blind test of 11 ravioli, tortellini and agnolotti, Nicholas Jordan finds some pastas are silky and generously filled – while others have been stuffed up

One ‘smells like pencils’, another is ‘almost devoid of aroma’. Nicholas Jordan samples 13 products and discovers little to froth about

While sipping a dozen chicken and ‘chicken-style’ liquid stocks and bone broths, Nicholas Jordan discovers few products taste good – and the stock standard is bad

From the reconstituted to the freshly squeezed, Nicholas Jordan downs more than 11 types of orange juice – and feels the pulp friction

Some are cheddar, some are tasty and some are terrible. Nicholas Jordan samples more than a dozen types of sliced cheese to find an inoffensive, easy-to-use square for busy schedules – and future sandwiches.

From haggis to spicy chorizo, offbeat crisp flavours tasted and rated

In his search for a ‘unicorn’ product, Nicholas Jordan tries 11 spreads, from nostalgic favourite Nutella to one with a ‘playdough flavour’

Sommelier Samantha Payne swills her way through nine glasses of red ‘chateau cardboard’, and uncovers aromas of ‘the Gold Coast in the 80s’ and ‘overcooked rhubarb’

In a high-wire act, Nicholas Jordan sips his way through 11 instant coffees – from the ‘weak yet palatable’ to the ‘unanimously average’

From a sulfuric-smelling vegetable product to a surprise winner, Jess Ho ponders the definition of a chip – and crunches through nine grain, corn and ‘turtle’ specimens

From the ‘refined and unradical’ to ‘mild, emotionless’ mouthfuls, Nicholas Jordan samples 17 unsweetened, unflavoured yoghurts – and experiences culture shock.

Which jars come closest to capturing the magic of the Genovese sauce? From ‘balanced and aromatic’ to ‘bewilderingly affordable’, these are the results of the great pesto testo