Henry Barnes: For his last stand, our new music marksman opens fire on the blogosphere ... before turning the gun on himself
Henry Barnes: New music's opening batsman straps on his pads and strikes the blogosphere's best balls for six
Henry Barnes: Our new music guru invites you to hop on his yoga mat and ride the blogosphere's astral plane
Henry Barnes: Our resident games addict feeds his coins into the blogosphere's arcade machine for another go at this week's new music releases
Henry Barnes: Our resident horse trainer takes this week's new music foals for a ride around the blogosphere's stables
Our in-house sommelier sorts the musical Merlot from the blogosphere's Blue Nun
Henry Barnes: Our resident prize fighter challenges the blogosphere's biggest bruisers to come and have a go if they think they're hard enough
Henry Barnes: Our resident conspirator places his critical gunpowder under the blogosphere's HQ and sits back to watch the fireworks
Henry Barnes: Our in-house dentist gazes into the blogosphere's gaping gob and decides which new music molars to extract
Henry Barnes: Our resident mountaineer scales the blogosphere's cliff face and plants the the Guardian/music flag at its peak
Our resident gambler feeds his coins into the blogosphere's fruit machine to win this week's new music jackpot
Henry Barnes: Our resident auctioneer talks up this week's new music lots to the blogosphere's highest bidders
Henry Barnes: Our resident music archaeologist digs deep inside the blogospheric muck to unearth the trash from the treasure
Henry Barnes: Our resident scuba diver straps on his snorkel and scours the depths of music's murkiest waters for hidden treasures
Henry Barnes: Our new music cheerleader shakes his pom-poms and gyrates seductively to the week's most rump-shaking records
Henry Barnes: Our resident fashionista strides down the blogosphere's catwalk to model this week's new music clobber
Henry Barnes: Our new music medium uses his Ouija board to bring you messages from the other side of the blogosphere
Henry Barnes: Our new music flagbearer flouts the festival ban and waves his banner proudly in the blogosphere's face
Henry Barnes: Our food taster tests this week's new music menu and spits out the poisoned pork chops
Henry Barnes: Our peckish pop picker dips his hand in the blogosphere's biscuit tin and stuffs his face with this week's new music hobnobs