Who Am I?
When I am forced to introduce myself to someone new, whether for a podcast interview, a social media post or just out and about I have a standard sentence I use:
"I am a mom, marathon runner and reader of all things mystery."
This answer is accurate, though it doesn't tell all that I am. It gives some highlights that the other person can ask about in more detail if they are interested but allows them to move on in the conversation too.
Why am I sharing this with you?
Because most Americans learn to introduce themselves by saying,
"Hi, my name is Dawn. I am an executive assistant at DM Consulting LLC."
In fact, if you search the internet for how to introduce yourself the advice that is repeatedly given is to state your name, your job and a fact specific to the situation.
Over time our jobs become our identities.
So, what happens when you retire?
I had a conversation recently with a family member who retired a number of years ago but ended up going back to work. We hadn't really talked about it before, but she mentioned how hard it was for her when she retired to understand who she was without her job.
This loss of identity is very common for retirees - we have to find a new way to define ourselves. For some this can be a struggle, and not just for men.
According to a Harvard Study, many people start retirement on a high - the honeymoon phase - but that wears off and they struggle with letting go of their identity as employed. Researchers discovered that retirees struggle with unexpected feelings of anxiety and fear that typically take 6 months to 2 years to work through.
The anxiety can sometimes lead to depression and other mental health difficulties that are completely at odds with what popular culture tells us we should be feeling in retirement.
All of those commercials with older people enjoying themselves depict a never-ending vacation when the reality can be quite different.
When you don't have something to retire too, you run the risk of retiring to your couch.
So what can we do to reduce that feeling and figure out how to be a happy retiree?
Find A Mentor
Feeling a bit lost when you lose the structure of your job is natural. Problems arise when we get stuck there. Unfortunately, retirement doesn't come with extra motivation.
If we weren't motivated to work out, start a new hobby or visit family while we are working it is highly unlikely that we will suddenly find that motivation.
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Retirement doesn't change who we are, it just gives us a lot of extra time we need to figure out how to fill.
This can be difficult to do, but it doesn't have to be.
You are not alone.
Look around at your friends and family. Do you know anyone who is already retired? Check out social media if that is something you enjoy and find a group of retirees that you resonate with. Are you part of an organization that has some 'senior' members?
It may feel kind of weird to be a 'retiree' looking for a mentor but connecting with someone who has already navigated the waters of early retirement can make a big difference.
Plan Ahead
If you have not yet retired it is a good idea to spend some time thinking about what you want your retirement life to be like. Make a specific plan that covers:
The goal of making a plan is to enjoy the honeymoon phase of retirement and be ready with a structure to put into place when you start to lose your enthusiasm.
These are just a couple of the steps you can take to help make your retirement a successful one.
Shameless Self Promotion
There are a lot of resources available to help you think through the non-financial aspects of your retirement and of course I am happy to help as well. (If you aren't following me here on LinkedIn be sure to connect so you can see the resources I post regularly)
I am also planning to host a workshop in May (date still to be determined)
My program will help you think about and prepare for retirement like never before.
Please sign up below if you are interested in additional information or want to attend this event.