Making habits is one thing – we grab our cute planners or download an app that offers the world. The trick is sticking to them.
If you find it hard to keep to your list of goals, you’re not alone. Studies show that less than 20% of people keep the goals they set after the first year or two.
The goal is to make them a part of your life – less about willpower (because life happens) and more about doing them without thinking.
Hack Your Brain, Not Your Might
Sticking with habits starts in the brain – long before you start a new walking program or make a healthy juice in the mornings.
“If you know how your brain works, you can overcome some of the barriers of keeping good habits,” said Ashley Pedersen, a personal life coach from Rock Springs, WY.
Experts say it's going on autopilot vs. going off just willpower. While motivation is some of it, it’s not the full story – or the most effective part. Habits become set when done often and the same. Four steps for building a habit are:
Cue/trigger. This could be a location, a time of day, or along with another activity. If every morning you have a cup of coffee, you could add a piece of fruit to that behavior.
Craving/desire. “I talk to clients about the motivational triad,” said Pedersen. “It really is about motivation and reward. If you want to meditate each day and see the benefits, you’re more likely to stick with it.”
Response. A habit you do could be an action or a thought.
Reward. Our brains are hardwired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. If a 10-minute meditation makes you feel more relaxed, you’re more likely to keep doing it. The long-term benefits of new habits may take a while to feel, but small wins can keep you going.
After some time, these four steps become automatic and the brain doesn’t have to work as hard. Before long, you’re doing the thing – walking every day, adding a veggie at breakfast, or meditating nightly – without giving it a second thought.
Take a Piggyback Ride
What does a childhood game have to do with habits? Experts say it makes all the difference. When we connect – or piggyback – healthy habits to our current routines, they’re much easier to keep. Just as we hop into our cars and buckle up, habits become a part of life when you can do them without a second thought. “Putting on your shoes could be a cue to work out,” said Pedersen, “I advise clients to start with small things that can connect to their habits.”
Monica Allen, 50, an entrepreneur and podcaster in Atlanta, has worked hard to make healthy habits a part of life for her and her family. “My husband and I are very much into fitness, so my daughter who is 13 has followed our example,” she said. “She wakes up and does a 10-minute workout each morning without thinking about it.”
Experts say that habits are different from routine. Habits are built over time and done without thinking. Routines can be uncomfortable and require lots of willpower – which isn’t as easy to keep up with when life does what life does. “I encourage my clients to be easy on themselves. You’ll get sick, you’ll go on vacation,” said Pedersen. “Beating yourself up isn’t going to help. Going in knowing you’ll fail sometimes is helpful.”
Breaking Bad
Researchers note that replacing a bad habit with a healthier one is easier than just cutting cold-turkey. Smokers might swap a cigarette for chewing gum. Overeaters might trade an unhealthy snack high in sugar for a fresh fruit or vegetable. “Sometimes the new, healthier habit can feel ‘wrong,’ ” said Pedersen. “Give yourself time to feel your feelings and realize the pain is temporary.”
More research is coming out about the connection between cues, routine, and reward – called the “the habit loop.” It’s this pattern that might make breaking bad habits easier to do while on vacation. Because you don’t have your normal cues, your brain is free to form new habits or break bad, old habits.
At the start, breaking a bad habit might feel odd, said Pedersen. “It’s OK to feel your feelings. A recent Harvard study noted that it takes an average of 90 seconds for an emotion to come and go. Own that this might not feel great at first, but the benefit is worth it.” Remember, what we resist persists.
Here are other tips for making (or breaking) habits:
Change the environment. Trying to cut sugar? Move sweet treats to a lower cabinet and out of sight. Want to eat more fruit? Put a fruit bowl on the counter so it’s visible.
Think small. “For me, it boils down to goal setting and being clear,” said Allen. “Saying I want to be fit is vague. I must establish a habit to do that. Do I want to go to the gym 3 to 4 days per week? Can I walk around the track when I take my son to practice?” It’s also OK to start broad and then make small steps, or what some experts call “micro habits.”
Make a reminder. For some, buying a new planner and jotting down their goals and habits is the way that works best. “Not everyone is going to use a vision board,” said Pedersen. “They might even need reminders to look at throughout the year or to add on their phone.” Find what works for you and stick to it.
Find a habit buddy. If you can find someone who’s supportive as you form your new habit (or break an old one), treasure them. “Even just telling someone your goal, or posting it on social media, can be helpful,” said Pedersen.
Be nice to yourself. Sometimes, a busy schedule or illness might take you off track. Just start again instead of beating yourself up.
Contact the pros. If you find it hard to keep up with healthy habits or break the bad ones, contact your doctor, therapist, or even a life coach to help you wade through some issues that might be keeping you stuck.
Show Sources
Photo Credit: iStock/Getty Images
SOURCES:
Ashley Pedersen, life coach, Ashley Cameron Coaching, Rock Springs, WY.
Monica Allen, 50, entrepreneur, Atlanta.
Harvard Business Review: “Why We Set Unattainable Goals.”
American Heart Foundation: “Five Tips to Make New Habits Stick.”
American Psychological Association: “Harnessing the Power of Habits.”
American Heart Association: “How to Break Bad Habits and Change Behaviors.”
