I love Gary Vaynerchuk and wish he'd dig into this more. As I see it(no hate intended), this is a terrible take on expectations. So here's my take: Expectations are the recipe for Value Want to appreciate someone? Don't give them softball warm fuzzies, TALK VALUE. As a leader, parent, friend, shared expectations let folks know what we value most about the relationship. This isn't: - Punitive - Some bar they have to jump - A checklist they check to keep their job It is a declaration of value. "As my employee, I hired you to stock these shelves. It's important and gives value to the company. It lets me focus on sales. What you do over and above that expectation is what we talk about at promotion time" "As a parent, I expect you to listen, work hard, and be kind. You are a key part of our family/team and doing your part means we can have more fun and less fights" "As a friend, I value that we can talk together and share our lives. I expect that we'll support each other through the good and bad times" People aren't perfect and we have to bend sometimes. But using expectations to frame difficult conversations let's people know that what you value about their role is missed. (This can also be kind) Expectations are part of the protocol of relationships. Expectations can also be toxic: - Unrealistic expectations (set too high) - Expectations that are held but not shared - Expectations that cause shame - Toxic standards we put on ourselves These are toxic. Drop em. I doubt Gary will read this but I'd be interested in how he views expectations and how he highlights value. What do you think?
Ultimately it’s about understanding happiness and understanding life. It’s not being held to materialistic things. It’s about not giving a shit about what other people think of you. It’s about being empathetic to what is actually going on. Expectation is the enemy
