Journal of a father in the 2.0

(Here the link for the article in Italian)

LinkedIn offers a very structured Diversity program - we have now gone beyond the pure concept of diversity within the company, by tackling more complex issues such as integration and a sense of belonging. This is the reason why work/discussion groups, tacking issues such as minorities, have being created, so that amazing life stories that affect our colleagues can surface, thus contributing to a more inclusive business environment.

A few weeks ago I joined the PAL - Parents At LinkedIn group, because allowing parents to be successful, both at work and at home with their children, is an important company goal to be actively pursued. 

In this context, I became a point of reference for employees/parents in the Milan office, in order to exchange stories and make them known. Once a year LinkedIn hosts an event called "Modern Family" where some parents share their experiences with their colleagues around Europe. This year will be the first event of this nature. So as for every good leader, while I wait for other stories to emerge, I will start with my own, and tell you about how working in LinkedIn has made my parental experience easier. I will share some of the precious lessons I have learned.

I'm a father of a fantastic, little two and half years old boy. On the day little Leo was born we discovered that he would be faced with a few more challenges in life than we had expected (or as we have learned to say, he carries an invisible backpack that weighs him down and pushes him to do certain things) - Leo has Down's Syndrome. As you can easily imagine, it was like a bolt out of the blue, something completely unexpected. I still remember the tears in the neonatal ward, the despair for a future that would no longer be as we imagined or hoped for, the confusion of not knowing what we were talking about and the growing fear of not being able to handle it.

The most difficult thing was to let others known about our situation, when everyone around you thinks that you are experiencing days of pure joy. Well, we were happy and desperate at the same time and we did not know how to convey such news. Lesson number 1: In LinkedIn, I was surrounded by people who once more proved to be exceptional. People who have been there for us from the beginning and since then, who have tried to relate to our emotions without being invasive/overwhelming. They allowed us to live out and digest our emotions, and gradually, with time, we learned to accept, our (now beautiful) reality. It is not easy to have so many alike people around you, something that is due to a strong corporate culture on which each of us is selected. 

Leonardo came home and thanks to LinkedIn and its father’s program, I was able to stay with him for 2 weeks to help my wife and new mother settle in at home. We talked to each other and realized that we needed to find out more about our situation, about this syndrome. We turned to experts for advice and over the last few years, Leonardo has been helped and supported by speech and physio-therapists. Lesson number 2: Working in a "smart" company that has flexibility in its strength, is an indescribable and immeasurable advantage. To be able to integrate working from home with medical check-ups, being measured on goals and not on working hours thus enabling us to manage everything, is something that, in a situation like mine, helped me tremendously. Without such organization, it would have been all a lot more challenging. Lesson number 3: having managers that are not only intelligent, but sensitive and compassionate is crucial in these situations and I was lucky enough to have plenty around me. Starting from my manager Paola, moving to Marcello, Moreno and Germano, managers of Italian team. They didn’t put pressure on me when I came back to work, they relieved me of some tasks and looked out for me. I can never thank them enough and only in a company like LinkedIn can you find people of this kind. 

Watching my little one growing and changing, I discovered that there is a lot of ignorance about Down's Syndrome. Even I, myself at the beginning, didn’t know exactly what it was and what were the difficulties of a person affected by it. But by living with it every day, I started, in my own way, to love it. This makes me even more responsible, both as a parent and as the ambassador of a verb that very few understand. Letting others understand that this disability is part of my existence now, and for a long time I was even ashamed to even talk about it. Lesson number 4: working and living in an inclusive environment makes you feel accepted right away, giving you unexpected strength and a continuous sense of security. Telling my story doesn’t scare me anymore and, most importantly, I don't see my little Leo as different anymore. At the same time, this helps others to better understand him and to see him as a normal child. Now in the office, I regularly talk about Leo, the difficulties we face, his achievements and the new challenges that await us. 

Being a parent is a wonderful experience in itself, maybe mine is a bit more special. I think I've changed profoundly in these years since Leonardo was born. My way of seeing the world has changed, the words "priority" and "urgent" now have a different meaning to me. I have learned to be less in a hurry. Leonardo has taught me that things can be reached by calmly standing back and admiring the scenery and the road leading there. I have learned to respect others and to embrace diversity even more. Lesson number 5: working in an environment that focuses a lot on the individual makes these personal changes not only evident and appreciated, but also rewarded. In January, in fact, I was awarded the MVP prize by the LinkedIn Italy team. It is a prize that I directly attribute to my personal development and I dedicate it, with all my heart, to Leonardo, because the real MVP, after all, has always been him. 

#parents@linkedin #PAL #DIB #modernfamily #linkedinlife