My Reflections on Parental Leave

Two weeks ago I returned to work after spending the last 12 weeks on parental leave. Since 2005, this was the longest period of time I had spent without being in school or at work, so I decided to reflect on the experience to see what I learnt during this unique period of my life.

My takeaways from my time spent on parental leave fall into three main buckets:

1. Gratitude

I feel immensely grateful for the opportunity to work at Microsoft, which has a very generous family leave policy. Giving me full pay for 12 weeks spent taking care of my family - in a country with no mandated family leave whatsoever - is quite spectacular. I really applaud our leadership team for deciding to adopt this policy.

In addition to Microsoft's generous family leave policy, I'm also grateful for my awesome team mates who held the fort while I was away, and made my return back to work pretty seamless. I think the way in which we support each other when one of us needs time off work says a lot about the health of our work environment.

2. Admiration

During my time off I developed a deep admiration for full time care givers. Before parental leave, I asked myself what I was going to do with all the "extra time". During my time off, I found myself wishing for more hours in my day! :) I also realized that a lot of the skills needed to care for my daughter were pretty similar to the ones I needed in my day job: planning, figuring out the root cause of an issue (yelling in this case :)), and finding a way to automate or eliminate repetitive tasks. In the end, I learnt that diapers, bottles, and whatever else is needed to take care of a child or elder parent are both time consuming and intellectually demanding. My hat goes off to those who do this full time.

3. Hope

In the past, especially in the culture where I grew up, men did not stay home to take care of their babies or parents. I'm excited to see a gradual change from that mindset, but the reality is that most dads are still unable to take parental leave. We still lack a critical mass of employers and governments willing to support us, and everyone's personal circumstances is unique. However, for those who can take parental leave, my hope is that you go ahead and do it for three main reasons. First, the returns to your family is quite substantial. The arrival of a child is a huge change for any relationship, but if properly managed, that change can result in a much better relationship; that has definitely been the case for me. Second, if Anne-Marie Slaughter is right, then goals such as investing in the human capital of the next generation (by caring for children), or affirming our common humanity (by caring for older parents) are too important to be left to only 50% of the human population (women). Finally, quoting a dear friend and mentor: "only when men begin to consistently take advantage of parental leave policies at work will we see more parity and support evolve overall for talent in the workforce who also have goals of caring for their family through their time and presence".