You are beautiful, kind and worthy

You are a beautiful person, full of love, kindness and spirit. We are all, just sometimes we get drowned out by life, pain and discomfort. We tend to use our pain to protect ourselves, but actually is this causing us more harm? I would say yes.

My pain became my security blanket, that I didn’t know how to get out of….

Once upon a time I was that girl who was found in a bush by the side of a road, dumped off by goodness knows who, full of drugs and very drunk. Yes, I was that Grade A mess suffering from PTSD (although I didn’t know this at that time) and feeling worthless. I was a scared, nervous, paranoid young girl - scared of my shadow, and full to the brim of insecurities and doubt. I was uncertain about my life journey and what my future held, although to be honest at this time of my life, I am not sure I entirely cared. I tried to kill myself (cry for help!) because I was being sexually abused by a family acquaintance and my biological Fathers rejection of me killed me. His departure from my life blackened my heart, it stripped my young life of happiness and led me down some dark and difficult windy roads. My innocence was swiftly gone. I suffered nausea and was sick most days, until I eventually became bulimic and started taking laxatives, which then became a much bigger problem. I drank too much, took drugs, was addicted to painkillers/laxatives and I also remember trying to get high on aerosol….I look back with sadness that I felt like this, that I didn’t feel brave enough to speak up.

I was put into a psychiatric care at school, labelled a juvenile delinquent. Shame my perpetrators didn’t get some help.

The policeman who found me that night in the bush by the side of the road probably saved my life. He will never know how grateful I am that he found me. Of course, this wasn’t the end of the drunken nights and feeling worthless, my recovery journey was long, but without doubt worth it.

Fast forward a few good years and with a lot of therapy (or as I like to call it ‘my recovery’) I am genuinely proud of my journey, and who I have finally become. I have spent years trying to work out where I fitted in to life, I have worked hard to find out who I am and what my life journey was all about. I have understood none of the happenings in the beginning of my life were my fault. Yes, they were tough and horrible lessons, but ultimately they have given me hope and I use this to support others, I write without a filter and have given myself a voice to speak out.

Through my professional life, I have been so lucky to have found a team that share my passion for supporting others. About a year ago we created a platform, The Emma Jane Show. This means to much to me, to bring real life, hard hitting stories, from real people to the surface. My life feels meaningful. Today we launch Young Voices Matter, something I am super passionate about.

I feel I have been given a second chance. I have found my purpose.

Everyone has a story that can help other people. Everyone has something that can bring HOPE to many other people’s lives and we @theemmajaneshow work hard to share these stories, support the many people struggling in silence to understand they are not alone and never have been. Through the work being done on @theemmajaneshow I am so excited to announce our support for the youth, Young Voices Matter. Our youth project is soft launching today, and I am slightly emotional about the day ahead.  It is an introduction with Jamie Dewson, team leader and Founding partner of Young Voices Matter and brings together a lot of hard work, research and commitment.

Thank you to everyone who has supported my journey and continues to do so 🙏🏼 it’s important for others that we raise awareness of the difficult subjects and I’m grateful that I have had this opportunity to do so, more so now with Young Voices Matter.

I never thought I would amount to anything, but I have (and I don’t mean monetary). I finally feel strong; mentally and emotionally not to mention physically fit. I am much more aware of myself, others and life. I have learnt that others behaviour is not my responsibility. Yes, I can listen and support but unless they want to help themselves, I can’t often do much to help. I have accepted we are all different, and our loyalties are different. I have learnt that nothing really matters apart from our health, love, kindness and spirit. I have learnt from my life, and continue to learn and own my mistakes and also my triggers. I have been taught so much and use this to grow and balance who I am. I am not ashamed to feel disgruntled at times and have understood how to balance negativity around me. I have learnt this, from my lessons, and I want you to know you are ok. You can do this too, I believe in you.