Your coachee is resistant to feedback and reluctant to change. How can you break through their barriers?

Create a safe space and invite the coachee to lead on what this means and what it should feel like. Then explore what feedback means in their world. Reframe/refocus/refocus what feedback could look like. Talk about the objectives of feedback and its relationship to growth and talk about the coaching journey being one of growth.

I just come from my own self reflection and offer my own resistance to something. How I notice something in myself that wanted to be kept safe. How I find myself wanting to hide behind my own self judgement. To expose parts of me and allow others to maybe find something that feels true for them. I can only hold a space for others to find what the answers are for them. I don't have the answers anyone needs. All our answers for self are within each of us..

Trust starts when expectations are outlined. Transparent communication starts here. What are we here to achieve? As a coach I need to understand what my coachee wants to achieve and what they need from me as an individual. I can then communicate honestly whether or not the expectations/goals are realistic and achievable and we can begin our work on a shared mental model.

Walk two steps behind your coachee. Be patient and be curious about what their struggle could be. Enquire in a caring manner and forge a trusting coaching partnership. Listen what their underlying needs are and help them get in touch with them. Address those underlying feelings, which will open up energy to welcome the other into their field.

Asking questions about the client's successful experiences can raise his energy level and help him look for solutions instead of focusing on obstacles. For example, the: How did you overcome these obstacles when you faced a similar issue? Who helped you at that time? What people can help you now? What other path can you consider that has fewer obstacles? If these obstacles remain, what other solutions can you create? What made you consider these things as obstacles? Do you think you can look at these obstacles in another way? How can you make these obstacles smaller and smaller?

Coaching is based on reflection and creating space for inquiry! We want our clients thinking about their life--what's working and what's not. That reflection offers a window in assessing what they really want and devising a way to get there. It's also a tool when there is a challenge that needs to be targeted: unpacking what's caused the challenge and creating solutions for next steps.

Reflective questioning is a pivotal part of the coaching process, and it is where I get the biggest breakthroughs. Asking someone to reflect on things makes them think in a way that they are not likely to do by themselves. When the feedback comes from the coachee it is often taken onboard more because it is in their own words and pictures, they have self-validated things for themselves. "Looking back on your life, what would you say is your greatest accomplishment?" That's a question nobody asks themselves lying awake at night, but it can build a lot of awareness and bring up strengths and values, for future exploration.

We all have an inner voice that speaks to us sometimes as soft as a whisper. But if we are not asked specifically, how we feel or what we think about certain things or certain situations, then for whatever reason, we simply won’t address it. So asking those open ended questions allows the coachee to tap into their inner thoughts and reflect on and communicate those thoughts.

By posing questions rather of giving your coachee direct comments, you can help them reflect on themselves and gain the independence to make their own discoveries. Start by asking open-ended questions to help them consider their actions and performance critically. For instance, inquire, "What difficulties are you having in this area?" or "How do you think you could strengthen your strategy?" They can explore their ideas and pinpoint areas for improvement with the aid of this technique. It also encourages people to take responsibility for their own growth and lowers their defensiveness, which increases their openness to criticism. In the end, this cooperative strategy encourages a stronger comprehension and dedication to change.

Make sure all the action steps were coming from coachee, because coachee will not commit to the action steps that coming from others.

Rome was not built in a day! Short term goals lead us to our long term goals.All baby steps have to be acknowledged.There will be failures but they have to be turned into stepping stones of success.Failures are important,this fact needs to be accepted.Handholding helps us realise that we just need to change our strategy based on experience/ failure not goal.

Change isn't created overnight! We have to create small steps. These steps for change need to be attractive, low barrier, and sustainable. Especially if there's a new path, concept, or behavior we are trying to implement, we want our client to gain success in the small achievements! These small wins lead to growth, improvement, and ultimately mastery.

This is gonna be a triggering comment but I’ll say it nevertheless. If you adapt your coaching style to every client, you don’t have any coaching style. Just for the avoidance of confusion, by “coaching style” I mean how you express your personal values in your coaching work. As per the 2nd ICF competency, it’s the coach’s personality that does the heavy lifting encouraging the client to grow. Every coach is unique just as every client is. What works for one, wouldn’t work for someone else. But if you are for many, you are for no one.

Recognize that each coachee is unique, and a one-size-fits-all approach won’t work. Tailor your feedback and strategies to align with their personality, strengths, and goals. Understand their motivations and leverage them to create a more personalized coaching experience. By aligning your approach with their individual needs, the coachee will feel more understood and supported, which can reduce resistance and increase their openness to change.

As a coach, I feel strongly that an individual, tailored approach offers the most value to coachees. No person is the same and there is no one-size-fits all approach. It's critical to meet your coachee where he/she is at currently to help take them to where they want to go on their timeline. Check yourself - your agenda, preconceived notions, ego, etc. It's not about you, you're a guide. Focus on progress over pace with the coachee. Celebrate the shifts beginning to happen. Check in with the coachee about he/she is feeling -- get feedback, ask if you can push or challenge. Stay attuned to the needs of the coachee, empower them, establish consistency, help them gain momentum. Inevitably, the transformation will happen and they'll blossom.

One-size does not fit all. Everyone is an individual, and must be treated as such. Depending on a person's upbringing and belief programming, things will work with varying degrees person to person. I believe it is important to understand a person's history before thinking about moving forwards. If they have unhealed trauma for example, that will need unpacking and resolving before they are able to move forwards.

Positive reinforcement means focusing on the good things clients do. For example, if a client meets a small goal, you tell them they did a great job. Or, if they're making an effort but not quite there yet, you still cheer them on. This makes clients feel good and encourages them to keep going. It’s like giving a thumbs up to keep their spirits high and motivation strong.

Positive reinforcement is providing validation for what the client is already doing well and also helping them recognize that their perceived weakness is an asset, depending on how it’s wielded. For eg. anxiety may be useful in planning ahead, healthy aggression can be used to get our needs met legitimately, or pleasing others may come from a need for connection with people. Help clients feel sufficiently supported so feedback to land as feedback and not criticism.

Use positive reinforcement to encourage your coachee when they take steps towards change. Highlight their progress and the positive outcomes that result from embracing feedback. Reinforce the behaviors you want to see by acknowledging their efforts and achievements. Positive reinforcement builds confidence and reinforces the value of change, making it more appealing. It also creates a positive association with the feedback process, reducing resistance over time.

Resistance to change often stems from lack of a clear vision. Help clients to formulate where they want to be, how they’ll get there, by when, what it’ll involve, challenges they foresee along the way, how they’ll overcome those- the SMART goal model. Having short and long term goals laid out with check points makes them more confident about the change and more likely to make it sustainable.

Visualisation works well for this and I love sharing space with people so they can see and feel what achieving their goal is like. This allows them to give themselves the feedback that they might need.

Sometimes a vision is really motivating. Other times, if it’s too lofty, it feels like too far of a stretch for our minds to actually believe and we’ll reject it completely. For instance, if I’m terrified of public speaking and I try to believe in a vision where I’m speaking in front of thousands, going from 0 to 100 is just unrealistic and my brain knows that. It’s can be useful to establish a thought that my brain can actually believe that helps me towards that vision, for instance, “I can practice speaking without ‘ums’ in my daily conversations, which will make me more confident.

1. Build Trust: Foster a safe, non-judgmental space where the coachee feels heard and understood. 2. Identify Underlying Concerns: Explore the root causes of resistance to uncover hidden fears or insecurities. 3. Offer Support: Provide practical strategies and resources to build confidence and reduce perceived risks. 4. Focus on Strengths: Shift the conversation to areas of competence to build self-esteem and motivation. 5. Small, Achievable Steps: Break down desired changes into manageable steps to reduce overwhelm and foster progress.