Truth Well Told
I turned 50 this September. Of all the salutations and funny comments like "you actually look 49", the ones related to work were the most interesting. Especially one from someone that considers me a mentor, even though he is a much better creative that I am. He asked me, pretty directly, -How do you keep really wanting to do this? I guess that from the outside, it might look like I'm fueled by some steady flow and supply of ambition, or drive. That I really know where I am going. Or that I have some kind of grand plan, with twists, turns, and goals. Interesting. I actually never thought I would make it this far. When I was a creative director in Buenos Aires, I had resigned myself to never being a CCO at all. My wife and I were trying to have our first child, and it was proving to be much more difficult than we expected. All my mind, heart and energy went there, and my career stalled for two years. Then, quite unexpectedly I had a chance at it, maybe because I had stopped trying so hard. Focusing on something else sometimes works. But sometimes it doesn't. Like having a plan: sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Being ambitious. Being focused. Being candid. Being extremely human. Work 24/7. Try to balance personal life and work. Or not. All these things work sometimes. Sometimes they don't. But I do know something. There is this Jacques Lacan quote: "A crazy man that believes that he is a king, is as crazy as a king that believes that he is a king". Translation: I don't fully believe I am a global CCO or whatever I can be next or I have been recently. If I did, I'd start believing that I have to "act" like one. Listening to what people think that is. As in: Don't do the work. Have a vision. Get a tailor (I really got this advice). Be an ambassador for creativity. A guru. Which means: thinking on career terms. And I don't think, talk or plan in career terms anymore. For a long time now. Some of my worst mistakes were made making decisions based on my career. So, if I don't have a career, what do I have then? A set of things I am good at. People that I like to work with. Certain type of work that I enjoy doing and a clear sense of the of work I don't want to do (again). I know the things I am not good at, and which ones of those I will try to become better at, and which ones I will just still be bad at forever. I have a really nice job right now. With great partners, clients, and an amazing group of talented people. But I don't have a career. I am a 50-year-old copywriter-creative director working as a global CCO. This is all I know; and that is the thing that from the outside might look like a drive, a direction, an ambition, a goal. A career. I should say that I wish I knew more. But this ignorance, this actual lack of a grand plan and the anxiety that comes with the absence of it, is what really keeps me going. That, and Lacanian psychoanalysis twice a week. It works for me. Most of the time. But sometimes it doesn't.