Reflections On The First Parental Leave In Big Valley History.

This piece was written by first-time parent and cybersecurity stan Joshua Swarz .

When I first discovered that I would be a dad, my initial shock and excitement quickly led to some big questions. What type of father will I be? How do you change a diaper? Will she like me? And of course – because the U.S. sadly still has no national paid leave policy – will my company give me any paid time off to bond with my daughter?

That’s right – my daughter would be the first Big Valley baby.

Sure, many of my colleagues were parents, but their children were older. As a first-time dad, I wasn’t sure I’d get more than a few weeks. And I was okay with that since most of my friends only took one or two weeks, and many companies offer no paternity leave at all.

I remember telling our Head of Talent & Culture, “I’m not expecting much time – and I’m more than happy to use my PTO.”

But soon after that conversation, our CEO announced our gender-neutral parental leave policy: 16 weeks to support expecting moms and dads during a time of profound change.

Big Valley offers 16 weeks of paid parental leave with full benefits to all team members following the birth or adoption of a child. As a young company with no shortage of experience with paid parental leave at other organizations, we wanted a precedent that mirrored the best and most human thinking on the subject.

This policy highlights not just the culture at Big Valley but also the character of our leadership. I’ve worked for many companies, some of which have been listed as “Best Place to Work.” But while most companies talk the talk, they come up short regarding policies that genuinely put their employees first.

With this announcement, Big Valley again proved that it walks the walk.

I am so proud to be a part of this team.

With this news in hand, my wife and I planned for her to take her leave in full, and then I would take mine when she returned to work. This would allow us to push out when our daughter would need to enter daycare – a blessing I didn’t fully appreciate until she arrived.

When our daughter was born, I took a few days of PTO and then returned to work. Those early days were tough, balancing work and new fatherhood on precious little sleep. Then, I grew increasingly excited about my time away from work.

As my leave approached and I started to wind down work, many people told me, “Enjoy your time off.” But once my leave began, I quickly learned what every parent already knows: It is not a vacation. Establishing a routine – with activities, feedings, and ever-changing naps — was no easy feat.

However, the bonding time I had with my daughter is something I’ll cherish and remember for the rest of my life. From seeing her smile at singalongs and story times, to feeling her softly breathing as she slept on my chest, to my sense of triumph every time I got her to nap — these are all memories that every parent should get to experience.

Of course, there were times I told myself, “Yeah, I could definitely go back to work now.” New parenthood can be exhausting, monotonous, and just plain tough. But that’s precisely why, without a doubt, this experience made me a better father, a better partner, and a better employee.

Now, one month back at work, I feel more confident at my job and at home. And while I always planned to stay with Big Valley for many years to come, my tremendous appreciation for my employer has strengthened my loyalty more than ever before.

Being a full-time parent is not for the faint of heart. It is 100% a full-time job – sadly overlooked by our society, primarily because most working parents don’t get to spend the quality time they deserve with their babies.

I am so thankful I had this time with my daughter, and I look forward to being by her side as she experiences all the ups and downs growing up has to offer. And I hope for real change in the future – so if she decides to have her children, parental leave is a right and not a rarity.

This originally appeared on Big Valley's blog, which you can find here.